MoMs (moms of multiples) have been known to think so. I know I'm certainly guilty of thinking so on occasion. Especially in the midst of my chaotic moments. Such as at the park when I can feel the adrenaline rushing through me as I constantly dart around the playground trying to keep an eye on each of my 5 toddlers while I see other moms seemingly relaxed, lounging and enjoying quiet conversations. And I'm sure they look at me and wonder why in the heck I had so many children to cause such a chaotic life.
However, these views and opinions from either side of the fence are often just based on a glimpse of a moment. For the mothers with one child, they may be viewing a crazy overwhelmed moment from a mother with 2, 4, 6 or more children. For MoMs or the mothers with lots of children, they may be viewing the perfect moment of the mother with one baby being breastfed whilst sitting quietly as if she has all the time in the world to relax. Neither of these moments are the complete story. Perhaps until we can walk in the others shoes we should hold our judgements.
The fact is it doesn’t matter how many children you have, parenting is made up of both good and bad moments and hopefully not too many of the bad ones.
We should be wise to the fact that some children are more difficult than others, some more demanding, some more energetic, more confident, more full of spirit, and not forgetting that most go through a difficult stage at some point or another. Others may have disabilities or learning difficulties. It’s all too ignorant to judge that mother on the glimpse of a moment where she yells and loses her patience as her child (or children) decide to “act up”. She may have just gone through a whole week of sick children to care for whilst feeling poorly herself, suffering from lack of sleep. Maybe that mom has something else worrying her mind. That one moment of craziness doesn’t mean it’s her permanent state of mind. What about all the glimpses you miss of her playing with her children, cuddling up with them, reading to them, laughing with them, sitting around the family table enjoying home cooked meals?
So, if you're having a good day with your child(ren), don’t think that others with a child at that moment having a melt down tantrum or children running wild, or indeed a mother with anything less than perfect make-up, hair and clothes, means the mother is a bad parent or getting it wrong.
I do not buy into this perfect parenting malarkey. It’s the hardest job in the world to be a parent. I feel most of us are trying to do the very best we can with the family arrangement and circumstances we have. So next time you see a stressed out mother, try giving her an encouraging smile or a nod of understanding rather than a look of disapproval or disgust.
taken in part from: http://twinstips.com/whats-it-like-to-have-one-child/
However, these views and opinions from either side of the fence are often just based on a glimpse of a moment. For the mothers with one child, they may be viewing a crazy overwhelmed moment from a mother with 2, 4, 6 or more children. For MoMs or the mothers with lots of children, they may be viewing the perfect moment of the mother with one baby being breastfed whilst sitting quietly as if she has all the time in the world to relax. Neither of these moments are the complete story. Perhaps until we can walk in the others shoes we should hold our judgements.
The fact is it doesn’t matter how many children you have, parenting is made up of both good and bad moments and hopefully not too many of the bad ones.
We should be wise to the fact that some children are more difficult than others, some more demanding, some more energetic, more confident, more full of spirit, and not forgetting that most go through a difficult stage at some point or another. Others may have disabilities or learning difficulties. It’s all too ignorant to judge that mother on the glimpse of a moment where she yells and loses her patience as her child (or children) decide to “act up”. She may have just gone through a whole week of sick children to care for whilst feeling poorly herself, suffering from lack of sleep. Maybe that mom has something else worrying her mind. That one moment of craziness doesn’t mean it’s her permanent state of mind. What about all the glimpses you miss of her playing with her children, cuddling up with them, reading to them, laughing with them, sitting around the family table enjoying home cooked meals?
So, if you're having a good day with your child(ren), don’t think that others with a child at that moment having a melt down tantrum or children running wild, or indeed a mother with anything less than perfect make-up, hair and clothes, means the mother is a bad parent or getting it wrong.
I do not buy into this perfect parenting malarkey. It’s the hardest job in the world to be a parent. I feel most of us are trying to do the very best we can with the family arrangement and circumstances we have. So next time you see a stressed out mother, try giving her an encouraging smile or a nod of understanding rather than a look of disapproval or disgust.
taken in part from: http://twinstips.com/whats-it-like-to-have-one-child/
4 comments:
A-M-E-N!!! Well said...Great job!!!
I'm an identical twin and have a little sister as well. My mum always said multiples were easier to take care of than 1 baby. Having had the opportunity to care for multiples and 'singletons' it really is true. Multiples occupy eachother, games are far more fun (more players)and sharing is a skill that is learned very early on. I'm looking to have my own kids someday and though I know multiples are tough the first year, I would be thrilled to knowing I am having more than one. Also, I wouldn't trade being a multiple for anything in the world. It was always comforting to know that all the big 'firsts' in life weren't going to be done alone. *safety in numbers* So if you are stressed about juggling multiples, just think of the moms who have to play 'pat-a-cake' a million times over because their singleton has nobody else to play with. My mum also says that trying to punish multiples is a whole other story (we were seperated during groundings, time outs - mostly because we would just play together and there wasn't much actual punishment involved when you have your twin to play/talk with) Tip: If you are trying to keep the kids in bed until a decent hour on christmas, get a big puzzle that will take many hands a long time to complete. Leave it outside bedrooms christmas eve so first thing in the morning there is something to keep little hands busy and hopefully let you get more sleep.
Merry Christmas, Rachel.
I agree 100%. We have 3 kids 6 and under. All were adopted..our 6 yr old has sp needs...I have myself been known to compare myself to my SIL and a cousin oth who have 3 "typical" and reserved, quiet children. I never feel envy, but have asked my DH aloud.." what would that be like?" Not to have a child hit you, curse at you, have accidents at 6 yr old...destruct property...every day...all day...
I know your topic is aimed a bit toward a different side, but I likes that you added that some may have children with sp needs etc....The fact we have 3..people get that...I think it probably feels in our house like a family of 6 kids..but again I have never walked those shoes..hopefully soon we will be Blessed with #4...but no, I will never know 1 child or children who are all "typical". I imagine even with 6 it would be less challanging than what we deal with just with our son...
BUT,,, that is what we were Blessed with. I think it makes us more patient,kind, cariing,compassionate parents. To us and other Moms and Dads. And we were in the health profession prior to becoming parents. Not the same.
Sorry so long. But I am a yoga pants, pony tail, no make up, home schooling mom...and where I live it is more the jeans, tight v neck,heels or wedges, full make up(even at the gym) hair and fresh hi lights...I am sure I get the looks..but ya know what.
.I am too busy making sure DS is not climbing the shelves in the store, at the same time that DD is not talking to strangers and the baby is not wiggling out of the cart and standing up...LOL
Perfectly said!!!
Whenever people find out I have two sets of twins, they say, "And I thought just having one kid was hard!", I usually say, "I think parenting his hard, no matter how many kids you have."
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