Ok I just have to get this off my chest

I don't think this stems from any one particular reaction I've gotten from anyone, maybe a cumulative effect from at least what I perceive other people to be thinking. I think it's just my own expectation and desire of how I want things and what kind of mother I want to be. Well actually, I seem to feel this way most when I'm around family that are so helpful with my children. See, usually we only have 1, maybe 2 people caring for all 7 children at any one time. We get in our daily groove and life seems to run very smoothly; everyone is more than adequately taken care of. Although we are structured, we have a lot of fun as a group. We have daily family dance-offs where the entire family shakes their stuff to the latest music that DJ Adre plays. Everyone gets and gives lots of hugs and kisses; we have perfected the group hug! Spare moments are spent giving individual attention, whether it be cuddling one, playing one on one or sneaking one away to go run an errand with us. Unfortunately the squeaky wheel does get the most attention. However, I do feel that this practice is giving individual attention. Any 7 individual children will require different amounts of attention, so I try to respond to each child's needs for the amount of attention they need. For example, I have one child that requires A LOT of attention (yep you guessed it, Princess Bella). She prefers to be held. So whenever I can, I love on her. Whereas Lex prefers to be on his own. But you bet when he comes for attention I stop whatever I'm doing and give it to him. So even tho not every one of my children gets the same amount of attention, I feel that each one does get the attention that they need. Now all this being said, I am very happy with my family. I do appreciate that I have an AMAZING family! However, I can't help but feel a little guilty that there is only one mommy and 7 little children. Especially the times that I am around enough family members so that each child gets individual attention ALL the time. I find myself thinking about how different their lives would be as single children. I think about how structured we have to be and how I can't let just one child do something unless I can let them all do it. There are things that can be done with only one child pretty easily but take a lot of effort with 7, even just the 5 little ones. I'm not just talking about activities, I'm more referring to behaviors. Dealing with a certain behavior, such as whininess or not wanting to go to bed on time or dumping their plate on the floor, may be tolerable from one child, but having multiple children makes this exponentially more difficult. It is so true that the more children one has, the less BS one puts up with. And that is just survival! I know this, I understand this and I even agree with this philosophy. Most days it never even occurs to me that my children would be treated differently as a single child. Then something happens to remind me of that 'other' world, a world where there is a mommy for every child, and I can't help but wonder... or wish I could... or what if...? But the one thing that I can say about a BIG family is that there is BIG love!