Anonymous
Yes you have our attention once again. I will premise this blog by saying this, Anastasia is our daughter and she will always be whether you agree or not.
We have been her family from day 3 of her birth. We have been through many diapers, crying, soothing, providing and loving Anastasia as a whole family. Kimberly, I and the twin boys were there when Anastasia could not be comforted at all because she had colic; we were there when she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. We were there when she was vomiting and ill. We were there and still there when she had speech and some developmental delays. We have been and we are still here. We have raised her in a stable, caring and loving environment. At one point, you even asked us if we treated her as well as our own, I can honestly and positively say yes. There is no other way to treat Anastasia but our daughter.
I know that Anastasia is not my biological child, that is a given. In fact, she is not even of any blood relations to me. That does not mean I am not her daddy. I may not be her father, but I am Anastasia's daddy. As I see it, a father may choose tocome and go, but dad's will always be in a child's heart. I know from personal experience the difference between a father and a daddy. I proudly choose to be her daddy. Anonymous, you have written about "you tell her you are her aunt and uncle and that she is her mother." It does not work that way in our family, We have taken her in to be one of the Kings. There is no way and under no circumstances that Anastasia will be treated and reminded like she is a niece or a cousin. Whether you like it or not, a niece or a cousin is treated a little differently than your own. Besides, Anastasia does not need to be reminded she is not our biological child on a daily basis. Anastasia is a daughter to us and a sister to our children. We will continue to treat and love her as such.
Anastasia's future with us is uncertain. Carrie is her biological mother, but as far as Anastasia is concern, she is a stranger. Our dear nanny, Becky, is more of a family to her than Carrie at this point in time. None of us intended it that way, Carrie is in prison we cannot change that. Carrie has to earn Anastasia's trust and love, there is no shortcut to that. Carrie is her mother not her mommy. Someday, when Carrie gets out of prison and can take care of Anastasia, we won't stand in her way to earn the title of mommyhood as long as she can provide a safe, loving and stable environment for Anastasia. For what it is worth, I will always be her daddy and Kimberly her mommy and the rest of the kingsquad her brothers and sisters.
Anonymous, in the end your opinion really does not matter to me. What matters is my relationship with my daughter. At the same time, I have to guess who you are since you like to hide and lurk in the veil of anonymity. If you are by any chance related to Anastasia by way of her father, then I have to ask where were you? We gave you a chance to take and care for Anastasia those first few weeks. None of you stepped up to the plate and took responsibility for this beautiful girl. My family does not have anything to gain in taking Anastasia in but her love and that is enough for us. We don't need a lecture from you about family dynamics, look inside you and figure out if you deserve to be called her family. Anonymous, if you are in no way related to Anastasia, then I don't know what your motives are besides trying to spew toxic notions in the blog world. For that, I feel sorry for you...you don't know the meaning of daddy, mommy, brother or sister.
If someday Anastasia is reading this, Kimberly and I love you as a daughter; Alex, Adrien, Allee, Ashton, Aiden and Arabella are your siblings. My sweet adorable baby girl, I may not be your biological father, but I will always be your daddy .
Alex King, proud daddy of Anastasia and the rest of the kingsquads
Yes you have our attention once again. I will premise this blog by saying this, Anastasia is our daughter and she will always be whether you agree or not.
We have been her family from day 3 of her birth. We have been through many diapers, crying, soothing, providing and loving Anastasia as a whole family. Kimberly, I and the twin boys were there when Anastasia could not be comforted at all because she had colic; we were there when she would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying. We were there when she was vomiting and ill. We were there and still there when she had speech and some developmental delays. We have been and we are still here. We have raised her in a stable, caring and loving environment. At one point, you even asked us if we treated her as well as our own, I can honestly and positively say yes. There is no other way to treat Anastasia but our daughter.
I know that Anastasia is not my biological child, that is a given. In fact, she is not even of any blood relations to me. That does not mean I am not her daddy. I may not be her father, but I am Anastasia's daddy. As I see it, a father may choose tocome and go, but dad's will always be in a child's heart. I know from personal experience the difference between a father and a daddy. I proudly choose to be her daddy. Anonymous, you have written about "you tell her you are her aunt and uncle and that she is her mother." It does not work that way in our family, We have taken her in to be one of the Kings. There is no way and under no circumstances that Anastasia will be treated and reminded like she is a niece or a cousin. Whether you like it or not, a niece or a cousin is treated a little differently than your own. Besides, Anastasia does not need to be reminded she is not our biological child on a daily basis. Anastasia is a daughter to us and a sister to our children. We will continue to treat and love her as such.
Anastasia's future with us is uncertain. Carrie is her biological mother, but as far as Anastasia is concern, she is a stranger. Our dear nanny, Becky, is more of a family to her than Carrie at this point in time. None of us intended it that way, Carrie is in prison we cannot change that. Carrie has to earn Anastasia's trust and love, there is no shortcut to that. Carrie is her mother not her mommy. Someday, when Carrie gets out of prison and can take care of Anastasia, we won't stand in her way to earn the title of mommyhood as long as she can provide a safe, loving and stable environment for Anastasia. For what it is worth, I will always be her daddy and Kimberly her mommy and the rest of the kingsquad her brothers and sisters.
Anonymous, in the end your opinion really does not matter to me. What matters is my relationship with my daughter. At the same time, I have to guess who you are since you like to hide and lurk in the veil of anonymity. If you are by any chance related to Anastasia by way of her father, then I have to ask where were you? We gave you a chance to take and care for Anastasia those first few weeks. None of you stepped up to the plate and took responsibility for this beautiful girl. My family does not have anything to gain in taking Anastasia in but her love and that is enough for us. We don't need a lecture from you about family dynamics, look inside you and figure out if you deserve to be called her family. Anonymous, if you are in no way related to Anastasia, then I don't know what your motives are besides trying to spew toxic notions in the blog world. For that, I feel sorry for you...you don't know the meaning of daddy, mommy, brother or sister.
If someday Anastasia is reading this, Kimberly and I love you as a daughter; Alex, Adrien, Allee, Ashton, Aiden and Arabella are your siblings. My sweet adorable baby girl, I may not be your biological father, but I will always be your daddy .
Alex King, proud daddy of Anastasia and the rest of the kingsquads
14 comments:
I am a long time reader but am pretty sure that I have never commented but it amazes me at the number of people who do not think that adopted children are peoples "real" parents, what makes a parent is love and time, you are giving BG that on a daily basis so that makes you her parents! I do admire the fact that you will allow her birth mother to come back in her life and be Mommy if she can, I cannot imagine how difficult it would be but I can see that it is the right thing and some thing you live with knowing.
Riley Reese
I LOVE YOU guys!!! Nicely put Alex!!
Sarah
I have recently stumbled across your blog and I think what you both are doing is amazing. Raising her as your own, surrounding her with love and giving her a life that she might not of had otherwise is so amazing. My hats off to both of you.
I have tears, you guys are amazing people!
You GO, King Squad! I will say that she is so blessed to have parents like you both, but I know that you would say in return that YOU are the blessed ones! I know that feeling first hand! Bravo!
AMAZING!!! That is the only word I have for people like you who unselfishly take upon a child with no biological ties. If there were only more people in the world like the Kings it would be a perfect place. Well written, straight from a daddy's heart! <3
I've been reading for a while, but rarely comment, this, however, gave me chills. Alex, you are the best daddy AND father and I don't think Anastasia or your 6 other blessed children will ever doubt that for a moment. Your love for BG and the twins and quads is more than evident.
Kim- the reply you gave on the post from your sister to anonymous was genius.
You guys unselfishly welcomed another child into your home so that she could be given the best life possible. If only more people in this world were willing to do that. It's a shame naysayers make you feel like you have to justify your good deeds.
God Bless the 9 of you!
That? That was beautiful. Anastasia is a very lucky girl to have a mommy and daddy (and entire family) like you all. :-)
I also read all the time, and I don't think I've ever commented. I had tears in my eyes...we also have personal experience with not needing a biological connection to have a lasting, loving, genuine family. I know kids that only have 1 sibling that don't get as much attention and affection as each of your 7. Keep doing what you are doing, it's obviously working for everyone but icky anonymous!
Long time reader, first time commenting. Alex I am so glad you stood up to anonymous. To be up front and honest with you, I hope BG stays with the only family she has ever known. When I read the comments from anonymous my first thought was that person was bitter, and angry, and they have no right to tell anyone how to be addressed. Anonymous has issues as they always seem to comment about what you and Kim should be called. They should be telling you what a good job you are doing.
In the 1930's my mother was dropped off on a doorstop, she ended up being in the foster care system until she became an adult. In those days you could not be adopted, because she wasn't legally surrended. She didn't know her birthdate or her background, till the day she died she always wondered who she was. She did live with a foster family who raised her from the time she was a one year old. That family was her family and her foster siblings are my aunts and uncles. We never used the label foster/adopted, it was never heard of in our home. The only time she felt different was when she went to school, and the nuns (God bless those nuns) would ask her why her name was different than her siblings. Every year she would have to explain. Needless to say she hated going into a new class every September. It was painful. My Aunt who had two sons took in a foster child. Brought him home from the hospital like you did with BG. She had no idea how long his stay would be. As he starting talking, and learning his last name, she realized he may not be with them forever, and should she teach him his birth name or the name of their family he was living with, she didn't want to confuse him, and she realized how they could not live without their third son. They started the adoption around the age of 2. He is now 30 years old, and one of 5 sons in the family (only one adopted) There are many reasons a child comes into a home, BG came into yours, and I hope you adopt her. You are her Daddy, and Kimberly is her Mommy, and she has two big brothers, two little brothers & two little sisters. She is special, your first daughter, the only non multiple, and the one that looks the most like her Mommy. She fits perfectly, and doesn't need to be reminded that she has an Aunt and Uncle, and cousins. If Carrie has the courage, she should surrender BG to the only family she has ever known. I am sorry this post is long. I could go on and on about why BG should stay with the King family, and why she shouldn't go with Carrie. It is just a disaster waiting to happen. To Anonymous, there is a reason why BG is with her Mommy & Daddy. She is in a loving home and that's where she belongs.
Mary from Boston
Wow guys! I love you all,and have known you for several years. I also know Carrie but Mary from Boston could not have said it better. BG needs to stay with you. Carrie made her decisions and now has to live with the results of those. We all make mistakes and have a right to a second chance, but at what point is enough, enough?
Uprooting BG from you guys would be absolutely unbearable on everyone involved. BG will only continue to thrive in her current environment and will have many more doors opened to her than what she would have if she goes to live with Carrie when she gets out of prison.
I miss you guys and hope to see you soon,
Paula
Thank you for all your kind and encouraging words, they really do mean a lot to us. Although I do appreciate all your support of us caring for BG, we have given our word to Carrie. IF and WHEN she is capable of providing a stable and loving environment for BG, then she will get her back. As hard as that will be on all of us, it is the best for BG. However, we are prepared to raise BG as our own if neccessary.
Alex.....
No one could say it better than you did and I know that it will mean more than you can know when BG reads this someday.
.....anyone can be a father......but not a dad. Children need a DAD and you are one of the best I have ever know (my dad and Nick's dad the other 2 on my list of 3).
I am so proud of you and Kimberly......I am so glad to have the King's as my friends.
BRAVO!!!
I think a standing ovation is in order...
Hopefully, this anon poster will get a life and start doing something constructive with the hours God gave him/her.
Michelle
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