"TOP 10" How I Survived The First Year With Quadruplets (+3)

Surviving AND Thriving!
That's right, I feel like I've not only survived the first year with our quads, but am thriving!
When I was pregnant with the quads, for some reason, I'd always think about how my life would be once they turned one. Not sure if I thought I'd be insane by then or what. But I always felt like 'if I can only just get through it til they turn one...' Maybe I hoped to get a normal life back by then. bauhahaha. Now I guess that depends on your definition of 'normal'. I think the addition of any child forever changes your life, and the addition of quads takes your life and turns it upside down, shakes it back and forth and then rolls it. Where you it ends up is up to you!
This is the "Top 10" reasons I think my life ball landed upright:
1. Organization
I have a Type A personality. I like to have everything clean, neat, organized and in its place. I also like to have control of the situation, any situation. This type of personality is NOT conducive to having quads (and especially not with +3 children). Quads are chaos! However, my organization skills were very useful for keeping everything for 4 babies straight.
2. Schedule/Routine
OK, so you might think that I like to have my children on a schedule because I am a Type A, organized, control freak. However, that is not why I like a routine. I think my children do better when they know what to expect. Maybe it is because they too are Type A, organized, control freaks (that remains to be seen, well except with Adrien, he already shows all signs of it!). But I do like to have a nice daily routine for all my children so that everyone knows what is expected of them.
The quads were automatically put on a feeding and sleeping schedule while in the NICU, so we simple continued it when they came home. And have adapted it as needed since. It is all they know, so it is their normal. All 4 babies drank their bottle/eat their meals at the same time, have play time together and go down for naps at the same time. It's just easier. Having them on a schedule also allows me to plan my day, incorporating time with the other children and even some 'me' time. Which I think is very important.
3. Crying is OK
All babies cry, it's just natural. But when 4 babies cry at the same time it can be overwhelming. Some cries get to me more than others and some times I seem to have more patience for the crying than other times. Yes, I realize that there are times when babies cry for a reason, well, actually I believe that any time a baby cries its for a reason; they want something, even if it is just to be held. However, with quads I had to realize that I could not always hold all of them whenever they wanted, so they had to learn to comfort themselves. That was probably a harder lesson for me than it was for them. We got them used to being alone from the beginning. Don't get me wrong, we held them all we could while they were awake. But I wanted them to get used to not having me (or anyone) with them all the time. And I did not want them to expect to be held.
4. Bedtime
Bedtime is bedtime. Period! As soon as the babies could sleep through the night (at 4 1/2-5 mo) we started putting them in their cribs for naps and all night. When it was time for sleep we simple put them in their cribs, comforted them, then walked away. This was very hard on me at first because they cried (and I wanted to go to them and comfort them). However, having them learn to fall asleep on their own has not only been a tremendous time savor but has also created very good sleepers. They have always had a lovey in the crib with them too for comforting.
5. Share Everything
I did not try to separate out things for each baby. Even as Type A as I am I did not color code bottles for each baby. I let them share everything. The germs are going to spread amongst babies anyway, so why fight it. I fed them all with the same spoon, I let them drink from each others sippy cups, chew on the same toys and even bathe in the same water.
6. Everyone help out
This was an especially hard one for me. I did not want my older boys to feel responsible for the babies or that it was a punishment to have to help care for them. But everyone needed to help out with quads. And honestly there were times I really needed their help (especially when I was home with all 7 children by myself while Alex worked). I also felt that this is their family now. And family is the most important thing. So I had to come up with a balance of just how much they would help. I think it is still a struggle. But it seems that as the babies are getting older the big boys are wanting to do more with them. And I'm glad cause the last thing I wanted to do was create animosity toward the babies. There is such an age difference that it is a struggle to maintain that sibling bond.
Now as for outside help, this was a very hard one for me too. I am an independent person, so it is hard for me to accept help. I had church groups and friends offer everything from meals to a 24 hour in-home volunteer schedule. What an amazing group of people! Even though I was touched by all the offers, I did not accept them. First of all, I wanted us to do it ourselves because eventually we were going to have to anyway. Second, the babies came home at the start of RSV season. So I was not comfortable having so many different people around the babies with the potential of exposure to viruses. And third, well did I mention I'm a control freak? Accepting outside help would mean giving up at least some control. So, I did not have any outside help. However, I did have my SIL and niece move in with me full time for the first couple months the babies were home. But between us 3 we had 10 children to tend to all under the age of 9.
7. Keep living life
That's a hard one! All normal life seemed to cease when we brought the quads home. They required 24 hour a day care that was all-consuming. On top of that I was pumping breast milk, which is very time-consuming. I realized life would change adding quads, but not to the extent that it did. Our family lives revolved around the care of those 4 babies. I was determined not to loose the big picture of my family in the focus of the babies. But I have to admit that the babies were nearly 6 months old before I could take in my family of 9 as a whole. Up until that point my focus was the babies needs, then everyone else. Although I did still make time daily for each child. That was important. It was also important to keep our family traditions going. We still made time to have family dinner and watch movies (even if it was while feeding babies). We got out with the babies as soon as possible. We even went on a 2 week family vacation (however we did go stay near family so we'd have help). The point is that we have made an effort to keep living our life, just with some adjustments.
8. Journal
When I was pregnant with my twins I remember someone telling me to write things down because the first year goes so fast and that I wouldn't remember much of it. I thought they were silly, of course I would remember every kick by my precious babies in my belly and every emotional moment of their first nights at home. And how would I ever forget the day they rolled, crawled or walked? Well, let me tell you. That first year is a blur and I am so grateful for the journal I kept while pregnant and during that first year. Even my boys like to get it out occasionally and read about their babyhood.
I am not one that usually keeps a journal. But once I found out I was pregnant with quads, I started this blog. It was originally intended to just document the pregnancy, but has grown into so much more. I love it! I do the blog2print so I have a baby book to hold that is full of our memories.
9. Support
I was absolutely devastated when I found out I was pregnant with quadruplets. I could not even fathom the idea of carrying 4 babies, let along raising them. Seriously, my mind could not wrap around the idea of 4 babies. It did not seem possible. And the statistics on survival rates and complications is down right scary. Not to mention how quickly my body was changing to accommodate the 4 and the pure exhaustion I felt. It was mind boggling to say the least. I had very quickly become overwhelmed.
But once I got a support system in place, acceptance of the fact that I was going to have quads AND that it was ok came. I was able to move on and do the things that needed to be done for my survival and the survival of my quads.
For me that support system was a wonderful group of online quad mommas. And my family and friends.
10. Smile, nod and ignore! ...comments that is.
It must be human nature, cause people, even complete strangers, tend to give advice or just comments that can be inappropriate. Some comments are pleasant and some not. I truly believe that most people have the best intentions and are not trying to be mean, but some comments can really hurt feelings. I think its a combination of shock, disbelief, amazement, pure aww of seeing so many babies (or 7 children in my case) that people just speak without thinking. Its my 10 year old boys that take it the hardest; they just don't understand. I have perfected the smile, nod, ignore and just keep moving maneuver.
A good sense of humor is definitely needed.

"Top 10" equipment needed:
1. 32 bottles
Feeding was my life for the first few months, literally life revolved around feeding times. So anything that assists in making the process easier is worth it. A bottle prep station for cleaning, sterilizing, drying one days worth of bottles, which is 32 if they are on an every 4 hour feeding schedule. I always made 24 hours worth of bottles at a time and stored them in the fridg.
2. 4 Merry Maid bottle props
These were a tremendous help for allowing one person to feed all 4 babies at the same time.
3. 4 Cribs
I think the number of cribs depends on the amount of space you have available. However, I do think that each baby needs their own crib eventually. So we started out with 4 cribs, which each baby slept in their own crib starting at 4 1/2 months. Up until that point they slept on the floor in the living room on pallets of elevated baby wedge with positioners (to keep their head elevated due to reflux).
4. 1 Quad stroller and 2 twin snap'n go strollers w/4 car seats
At first all I used was the 2 twin snap'n go strollers because it was easier to keep the babies in their car seats for transport. And lets face it, those first few months I was not able to go anywhere by myself. But eventually I was ready to venture out alone and a quad stroller is a must. I love the runabout quad stroller.
I did not have the need to transport only 1 or 2 babies at a time (ie individual doctors appointments, etc) so I did not need a single or twin stroller. However, now I can see where 2 twin strollers might be nice to attract less attention if you have 2 adults at all times. And now that they are getting bigger I would like another option like 2 two-seater wagons or a 4 car choo choo wagon (but talk about an attention getter!).
5. 4 Swings and/or bouncy seats
Again, I think the number of these needed depends on the amount of space you have available. I had 4 swings and 4 bouncy seats. And I loved it. I utilized them all. However, I think the most important thing is that there be something available for each baby to soothe them.
6. 4 Boppy pillows and/or lounger pillows
I had 4 loungers, they are similar to a boppy, only solid. We used these to position the babies on for feedings. We also had 2 boppy pillows we used later for belly time and to help practice sitting.
7. 4 Bumbos
Tremendously helpful from about 3 months until they are fully mobile.
8. Floor gym and toys
I set up 4 different toy stations and at play time I rotated the babies around them. So I had 1 floor gym, 1 exersaucer, 1 bouncer and 1 other light up toy they could sit in a bumbo at.
9. Tons of bibs and burp clothes
Due to the babies having reflux we needed tons of bibs and burp clothes. Seriously, I probably had about 40 of each and still did laundry everyday. I also used tons of thick receiving blankets to cover everything so that once a baby did vomit I was able to just roll up the blankets and throw them in the wash. Anything that saves time is worth it!
10. Clothes
The first couple months all that I needed was some easy on and off PJs, especially while the babies were on monitors. The gowns were the easiest to allow quick access to the monitors. Depending on how bad the reflux was at the time, each baby went through 1 - 8 PJs per day (we had one that pretty much had to be changed after each feeding, at least until we figured out how to protect her clothes with bibs and burp cloths). However, we also did laundry EVERY day. So on average we went through about 8 - 10 outfits a day. But that was just during those first few months dealing with reflux, which was all cleared up by the 5th month. Then I wanted more cute outfits, but only needed 1 per day per baby. It was helpful for me to have 2-3 days worth of clothes on hand. So let's just take onsies for instance. If each baby goes through 1 per day that is 4 onsies per day or 12 for 3 days.
Swaddlers was a must for us. I had 2 sets of thin ones and 2 sets of thick ones for when it was cool, so 16 all together. However, 1 set would be sufficient, cause did I mention that we did laundry EVERY day. Once they outgrew the swaddlers they used the Halo sac sleeper (since it was winter).
We still do laundry every few days, so I really only need about 5 days worth of clothes (so about 20 outfits total). However, I seem to have a fetish for childrens clothes!
(*disclamer* this is NOT an official list and is the sole opinion of myself)
I thought that the toughest part of preparing for quads was not knowing what to get, but WHEN to get it all. The typical quad pregnancy in only 7 months, so you have less time to get prepared. The uncertainties make it difficult to prepare early and the typical bedrest later makes it even harder to prepare then. There is no ideal time to prepare during the pregnancy. The typical NICU time seems like an ideal time to prepare. However, it can be such an emotional time that you're energy is too drained to want to go home and put together a nursery. So, what worked for me? While on hospital bedrest I did online shopping while my husband put the nursery together. Then I just did the finishing touches while the babies were in NICU (that was a great distraction too).
I remember wondering if things would get easier as the babies get older (and I still wonder this!). I used to ask this question a lot and I would usually get the same answer "not really easier, just different." This answer was a big disappointment for me because of course I wanted to hear that things were only going to get easier from this point on. Well, when I think about now at one year of age, compared to when I first brought all those babies home from NICU, I think things are easier. As preemie infants there was so much emotional issues and slept deprivation. At least for me, once the babies were sleeping through the night things got easier. I am more able to handle things when I am well rested. And as far as mobility, I always thought it would be more difficult once they were all mobile. However, I have found it to be easier because the babies can do more for themselves (I do keep them locked in a corral tho).